Friday, April 23, 2010

Hatchet Herald Update & More

Today Insane Clown Posse's label, Psychopathic Records, released the latest edition of their newsletter, the Hatchet Herald and it has some pretty entertaining stuff in it.


First off, they address all the poop-talk surrounding ICP's "Miracles" video I featured in the last update. I must say they do a pretty good job of defending themselves.
I don’t know what Webster’s definition of the word “miracle” is, but we’ve always thought it meant something fuckin’ amazing and incredible. A fuckin’ special, awesome event of some kind. A great, wonderful thing. A fuckin’ miracle.

The song “Miracles” is classic ICP. Our listeners know we’ve always included one or two deep, meaningful songs on our albums, we’ve just never made a video for one until now. It was a good idea, obviously, ‘cause it’s got people talkin’. The truth is it don’t make us mad to see all the hate “Miracles” gets from the mainstream. We’ve been “The Most Hated Band in The World” for many years. Without all the hate on the outside, it wouldn’t be as warm as it is on the inside with the Juggalo Fam. Instead, all the hate “Miracles” generates makes us sad. Sad for the haters.

I mean, yeah, we get it. It’s funny to people on the outside lookin’ in, seeing two clowns rapping about space and shit, while floatin’ around in an orgy of screen savers. And SNL’s parody was off the hook hilarious. But when you step back and really look at all the genuine hate it got from everyday people, it’s hard to believe that so few got it.

Yes, most of the miracles we mention can easily be explained away by science, that’s why we say the line “fuck scientists.” Their factual findings sometimes explain away the Earth’s cool mysteries. Part of me wishes they were lying. Part of me doesn't want to know how they really make crop circles. My imagination wants to believe it’s aliens or somethin’. If people can’t relate to that, then that’s their loss. I mean, seriously, it must truly suck to have no imagination about these things. Us Juggalos have deep imaginations, and an awesome sense of humor.

As for the infamous line, “fuckin’ magnets… how do they work?” Magnets were like magic to me as a kid. You could move things across the table without actually touching them! I found that shit amazing and I still do. If you don’t like that, have a dick for dinner. As for the sun and the stars. Who looks up into the sky and doesn't wonder sometimes? Come on, man, I fuckin’ straight up feel sorry for anybody that can look at the moon the trees, and the seven seas, and not see fuckin’ miracles. It’s not about religion either. Nature itself is a miracle. Stand toe to toe with the ocean at night and tell me that shit ain’t amazing.

We appreciate all this shit. Especially a yellow ass, long neck giraffe. What’s a shame is how people walk around blind to it all. They lost their spirit about everything. If you can’t even see the miracle in animals, then you must have never truly loved a pet. That has to suck for you. Maybe you mother fuckers should relax that wound up, extra tense bitch ass of yours for a minute and go smoke a joint or somethin’.

Be an individual, step out and away from the flow of the crowd. Take a time out, open up ya mind and then peep the giraffe. Try to appreciate some of these miracles, bitch.

What’s a miracle is the fact that some people haven’t recognized by now that Insane Clown Posse will never die. ICP will go down in history as an independent music miracle. Get used to these ugly faces. MMFCLJ.

The Happy Clown Serial Killer
I don't know what "MMFCLJ" stands for but I would like to know. Of course MMFWCL means "much motherfucking wicked clown love" but i'm not sure about this one. Whoever tells me the correct answer wins a free date with Shaggy 2 Dope.

Actually I just searched for "MMFCLJ" on Google and it brought me to this juggalo documentary video. This is some ultra-real, ultra-raw juggalo footage.


Back to the Hatchet Herald... They also announced the upcoming DVD release and "theatrical tour" of ICP's new full-length film, Big Money Rustlas, including a link to the new promotional web site. As of now, the site is still under construction but it does include a preview of the movie. Honestly, I've been trying to watch the first ICP movie, Big Money Hustlas, and I haven't been able to stand sitting through it. Sorry juggalos, but the movie is terrible in a painful way. However, the preview for the new flick makes it look significantly more tolerable.


Till next time... MMFCLJ!!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Gory Pussy & More

It's been far too long since I've updated this baby, but it recently came to my attention that people have actually subscribed to this blog, so apparently somebody actually cares about it. So in that case, please allow me to catch you up on some funny juggalo videos that you may have missed, as well as introduce you to a truly amazing juggalette rapper.

First off, a pretty good spoof. It's true that they are making fun of Insane Clown Posse and juggalos, but you can't deny it, my ninjas: it's hilarious.


Next, the riveting new ICP video, "Miracles".


"Miracles" immediately caught a shitstorm of internet mockery, including the following SNL skit, which (sorry again, juggalos) is very funny.


Finally, I found a juggalette MC that I actually really enjoy. Hailing from "Dumpsterville, Oregon" and going by the pseudonym, Gory Pussy, she only appears to have one track (and a couple remixes) at this point, but it's extremely well-produced, hilarious, and definitely worth checking out. Also of note, her MySpace page includes a pretty stellar remix of her track by nerdcore MC and producer, Rappy McRapperson. Out of all the juggalo-related music I've heard I would definitely pick Gory Pussy as one artist to keep an eye on, as she seems to have some real brains and talent hidden behind the sex and violence lyrics.


Coming in the future to Juggalo Fetish, juggalo furries, juggalo porn, juggalo art, juggalo romance, and more!

Juggalo Fetish is seeking writing contributors. If interested please e-mail juggalofetish@gmail.com

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